thank you and some thoughts...

I don’t think anyone would rationally choose this line of work. It is physically and emotionally exhausting. I believe we are all drawn to it, called to it out of necessity. It is woven into our blood and very being and for many of us it feels like home. Doula work demands your complete presence and it gifts the highest highs and the lowest of lows.

I found my way to this work in part because something a mentor in my pre teen days told me. She said, find the thing that you love to do, the thing that you would die to do and do that, spend your time and your days there. — a heavy thing to say to a pre teen, but it stuck with me.

I have had the unique experience of being raised as a doula by the folks running the Volunteer and Birth Doula Services team at Open Arms. Folks that spoke truth and extended their time and energy to support and shape me so that I could better serve our community. Satchel Silvette, Yvette Mckee, my peers on the team, Jen Hamilton, Vonda Prioleau, Vanessa Love-Joy Guron, Davinah Simmons, Jessica Duty, Kristin Travis, Bre Davis, Jasmine Stuverud, Cori Hartunian and so many more birth workers that I have met along the way.

This team has shifted the way I approach my peers, the way I handle situations, the LENSE I bring. It became very clear to me early on that the conversations we were having were very different and I am eternally grateful for their impact on my life and the lessons that brought. I believe we are all woven tapestries of the beautiful folks that we meet in this life. We see how others move through this world and new to us ways that life can be lived and this allows us to bring those elements into our own ways and movements. We don’t know what we don’t know.

Really this is what we do for our clients. We unpack the box they’ve been placed in by the medical system with their diagnosis and labels and unfold their beautiful tapestry. We see and hear their stories, the complexities at play and create space for them. And we share other stories, other ways to be and move through this process of parenting. There is nothing that I love more than watching the glow of someone finding their voice, embracing their power, and beginning to roar. It is a beautiful sight to behold.

There are many times when I get overwhelmed by the state of the world and feel stuck, immobilized and lost, not knowing how to move forward or make a difference. I remember something my friend’s mom said:  It’s impossible. It is completely overwhelming to take it all on at once and we aren’t meant to. When it’s too much to handle, I focus on what I can do and make waves where I am. When I have more energy and more strength, I make bigger waves.

it’s funny. This is exactly what we tell our clients as we move through labor. It’s too overwhelming to look at the whole task. We must take one step at a time, one contraction at time. Let’s break it all down into baby steps.

Birth has been my greatest teacher. It has humbled me and shown me the depths of my love and strength as well as my limits. When you witness what it takes to bring a life here, it changes how you see people. Life is so precious.

I invite everyone here to chip away in your own space, to make your own waves.  We have a lot of power when we all work together. It is SO important to remain in relationship despite conflict. Division is an incredibly sophisticated tool to silence the conversation and control us. If we aren’t having the difficult conversations, we can not change people’s minds. If we don’t remain in relationship, it’s too easy to put people in boxes and forget about the complexities that make them who they are. AND we need EVERYONE to make waves to shift the current tides.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t want to do this work without my beautiful doula mates. I can think of at least 20 other folks that deserve this more than I do. But thank you for seeing me and listening to my story.